Brooklyn, Schnooklyn

This morning I got up bright and early and went with Ayub and Lorenzo to explore our assigned neighbourhoods in Brooklyn. You can probably tell that I wasn't too thrilled with Bushwick, so I decided to check out Borough Park as an alternative. It's an Orthodox Jewish enclave...enough said. We took the subway, which was actually the first time I used public transport here. The carriages are nice and spacious like in Paris, and the trains run 24 hours, but it can take absolutely ages to get to where you want to go because there are so few intersections to change lines from. The journey wasn't entirely dull, though, with Ayub telling us stories of exchanging pot shots with Iraqi border guards and the Turkish repression of Kurds. At one point, an immaculately dressed Spanish guy sat opposite us and began to sing - I looked around and noticed that someone else was filming him while another guy played the backing track through a tinny speaker. This was a music video! Everyone else was just staring at him so we decided to clap along. Hopefully the video will become widely available so you can see me grinning bashfully next to a Kurd and a Colombian clicking their fingers. The singer's name is Jose Luis Manzanero, and that boy is going places.

We arrived in Brooklyn and took in the beautiful sights of a slightly narrower Manhattan. I think my companions blended in very well:

















We picked a direction and began walking. Each block was virtually identical: video game store, restaurant, barbers, hardware store. At one point we saw a fire engine backing into a station marked 'Ladder 14'. I told Ayub and Lorenzo that, as they were covering this area, they should go over and introduce themselves to the grizzled, white-haired fireman who looked like he'd seen more deaths than Pol Pot. After all the experience Ayub has had covering a warzone, I could not believe that he seemed terrified of doing this. So I put on my best clueless Brit accent and introduced myself to 'Mike McGuire', who had a perfect thick Brooklyn accent. He told us where the control office was, pointed out a few things, was generally helpful. By the way, we've been told time and time again not to do any 'Bogarting', ie what everyone dreams of doing as a reporter in New York. So it's always best to grovel and be polite - if you sidle up to a cop and say 'hey tootsie, spill the beans or I'm gonna ravish your wife', consider the city closed.

Further into Sunset Park, the influx of Chinese became rather apparent. A kindly old lady told us that the Chinese came to the area 'ten families at a time', even living in the basement of houses, which once upon a time was not actually allowed. She was also upset that her neighbour John cluttered up his yard, especially as he was 'one of them...you know, gays' and lived with a 'friend'. There was a great market, however:

















It was now time to go to Borough Park. It's utterly amazing how, in the space of one street, you can go from all-Chinese to all-Hassidim. Women began to wear strange dark robes and tough little hats, while children stared sulkily from their sidelocks (well, maybe not, but the alliteration sounds really good). I picked a random guy to introduce myself to, a guy in his 50s/60s who was sitting on the steps of his house. 'Ernest' turned out to be originally from Romania, a self-described 'Liberal Jew' who did not have many kind words to say about his Hassidic neighbours. By this point we were very hungry, so I said my goodbyes and did not even bother visiting Bushwick. My future lies with my people, Tevye!

So now I'm just trawling through websites trying to find a suit and a kippah. Irritatingly, I can only find bizarre novelty ones with sequins on them, or custom-made leather ones that only Peter Stringfellow would wear. But it's good that I've finally got a neighbourhood. And I've almost finished my dissertation, so I'll be able to concentrate my studies on street reporting and the Pentateuch.

PS Joe, please check your email again, I need some tips on how to style my sideburns