Oy vey!

Sunday morning I couldn't sleep, so I watched some TV. It was execrable. The kind of TV evangelists that used to be such a cliche of the US are STILL going strong. It was like reading descriptions of Quaker ceremonies written by sceptical Anglicans in the 18th century. The congregation was trembling and dancing while the preacher just shouted whatever crap came into his head in an incredibly loud manner. I then flicked onto the news channels, which were equally disastrous. Fox News everyone knows is a joke, and CNN I find almost as bad. It's such superficial toss, and unbelievably sensationalist. The only Arab voice you hear is when they have a 'featurette' on Osama Bin Laden (part of their 'Know Your Enemy' series) in which his third dog's second owner speaks utter bullshit about a man she clearly never knew. Other than that it's moderate, balanced programmes such as "TARGET: USA" or "YOUR NEIGHBOUR RAPED YOUR CHILDREN AND IS HIDING IN THE BATHTUB".

Sunday was also the birthday of the sister of my mum's friend's husband. It was held at a Jewish Centre in New Jersey, and I was laughing the whole afternoon. It was like the worst parody of a Woody Allen film ever. Everyone had thick Brooklyn accents, we danced to magnificently cheesy Jewish medleys and the entertainment was a ventriloquist.

But a particularly nasty one. We usually hate comedians who just say things like, 'see your girlfriend, mate? She's fucking UGLY!' but in America they are apparently loved. This ventriloquist turned up and all his lines were 'god, you guys look like crap!' 'god, you are OLD! aren't you DEAD yet?' One line, and I am quoting this verbatim, was spoken by one of his dummies that was supposed to be a grumpy old man. "My wife," he said, "is huge. She takes craps bigger than me!" Bizarre. Anyway, I got off lightly. His joke for me consisted of telling the crowd that we had the best belly dancer in Staten Island at the party..."and there he is, the guy in the glasses!" It was cute, I guess. Even the fifth time he said it, I was wincing away like a guy who really can take a joke! Yes siree.

Anyway, all this is fun, but I have four days to do my dissertation and get ready for uni. It's not happening somehow.