Spring Break

It's Spring Break! According to www.springbreak.com, this grand American tradition of a week's holiday to mark the end of winter is inspired by the Greco-Roman rituals that featured drinking, dancing and diddling. But because I'm in New York and not Malibu, it will probably be about as hedonistic as a Puritan hoedown. But I am determined to visit some good places in New York now that I have all this free time.

This morning didn't start well, though: the clocks went forward four weeks early, as part of an ingenious new American energy-saving policy. I dragged myself out of bed at 9am and went with fellow Brits Archie and Howard to The Parlour, an Irish pub/restaurant that was showing the France-England rugby match. It cost each of us $20 just to get in, which was a bit of a financial setback, but I was confident that seeing a safe French victory would be worth it.

Nearly everyone in the pub was Irish. And not fourth-generation Irish-Americans who occasionally trip over a dog-eared copy of "Ulysses", either: actual, genuine, old Irish folk in green jerseys, knocking back pints of Guinness at ten in the morning. When the English team appeared on television, I heard a charming voice cry, "FOCK THE QUEEN!" One guy was selling green shirts at the back, although god knows how much for.

So over an orange juice, I watched as the French team fumbled, stumbled and hoofed their way to a depressing defeat at the hands of a rather beefy-looking England. I could have found out that result for free if I'd just stayed in bed.

So what have I been doing over the past couple of months? Well, you can read for yourself on www.bronxbeat.org! Oh yes, our student-run community paper is online, and my articles are red-hot journalistic firebombs that expose the truth behind the issues you care about. Didn't you ever wonder what Italian bakeries in the Bronx are doing to cope with the trans fat ban imposed in New York City? Well, it's lucky I wrote about it isn't it? And what about green roofs, I believe you were concerned about the lack of public money for these energy-saving marvels? Read all about it here! And as for the first Chinese restaurant in the Bronx (later changed to "one of the first", because, um, it could be a pack of lies), well, you can read that little gem here.

Other news: I got an internship with Forbes.com! It starts next week. It was one of those interviews that starts well, with you in your crisp smart suit feeling confident and selling yourself impeccably, but then descends into a sweatbox panic mode where your suit becomes more limp and ill-fitting with each passing moment. By the end of it I looked like one of the Three Tenors after an encore. But it seems that I did enough to convince them that I could work on Fifth Avenue, and so hopefully I will have something to strive for outside of the tedious world of schoolwork.

A bientot, mes amis.

White Magicians

Term has started, and all in all I'm looking forward to the second half of my New York education. I will primarily be reporting from the Bronx, a borough that got its name from a Swedish seaman - Jonas Bronck - who bought a large piece of land there in 1639. My knowledge of 17th-century Swedish hobbies is limited, so I'll just resort to (stereo)type and imagine he entertained a large collection of Scandinavian hotties during his time there. Specifically a smorgasbord of them.

My stories will be published in a bi-weekly school publication, The Bronx Beat, which has a circulation of at least '6,000'. Considering that the population of the Bronx numbers over 1.3 million, it is heartening to know that about 1/2000th of the neighbourhood I am covering will get to read the paper (or use it as a bedsheet). My mother heard from her rich American friends that the Bronx is dangerous, and now warns me every time to go there in large groups. At least if I get decapitated, 1/2000th of the Bronx will shed a tear for me.

Our first staff meeting was held in a community centre in the Bronx, where, true to American style, a 'panel' of working journalists gathered to tell us about the community they knew so well. Except again, true to American style, the only topics covered were the biographies of each panelist and where the best place was to get a cheesecake. New Yorkers love nothing more than to recommend restaurants. The entire panel lit up when our professor asked them for restaurant tips, and the first one to answer regaled us with his tale of a restaurant "with no sign". He told us that the restaurant's owner, Iqbal, makes great Pakistani food "in the back". Hmmm. It could just be...the house of a hospitable immigrant? Anyway, the point of the anecdote was not to recommend the food, it was to recommend a 'restaurant' that nobody knew about because it doesn't even have a sign. The rest of the panel sighed in frustration, as they knew they had been out-Zagated.

One other thing I did recently was go downtown to catch Doug Shaw's band, White Magic, at the Mercury Lounge. Well I say Doug Shaw's band, in fact it's his girlfriend's, Mira Billotte, who sings and plays piano while Doug alternately rattles out guitar chords and bangs on the drums. They have a new album out, Dat Rosa Mel Apibus, which of course I got for free because I'm Doug's childhood friend. Their sound is basically psychedelic indie-folk, with extended jamming and occasional cymbal-crashing. They have some good tunes, but if they just chopped two minutes off each song and wrote some proper lyrics they'd have a hit on their hands (but what do I know?) When I told Doug about the upcoming success of Mika Penniman, he looked crestfallen. He needn't worry, because the New York Times wrote a big fat review of his band's gig! It was a bit snooty, but still, a write-up in the New York Times! Here is the final summation from windbag critic Ben Ratliff: "This was deeply deceptive music, driving toward something not altogether satisfying but still fascinating: a deadpan warmth, a halfhearted bliss." Honestly, you could end every gig review ever with that sentence. Even one about Rotting Christ.

Daily Show on France 24: "24 Hour Haughty People"

Obama/Osama

Barack Hussein Obama, Democratic Senator for Illinois and unofficial presidential contender for 2008, has a name that really is the political equivalent of being called Ginger Pubes. It seems that nobody can get his name right without indulging in some puerile innuendo - but it's surely just an innocent mistake?

Ted Kennedy, Democratic Senator for Massachussetts, was obviously still a bit flustered from being on the government's secret "no-fly" list in 2004 when he fluffed Obama's name. Speaking at the National Press Club on the future of the Democratic Party back in January 2005, he said: "Why don't we just ask Osama bin -- Osama Obama -- Obama what -- since he won by such a big amount. Seriously, Senator Obama is really unique and special."

But one man's error is another man's excuse, and right-wing pundit Rush Limbaugh took up the "Osama Obama" refrain throughout 2005, claiming that he was merely mocking Senator Kennedy. On the July 11, 2005 edition of his show, Limbaugh poked fun at Obama using his new 'accidental' moniker:

"Obama Osama Obama was in Florida over the weekend stumping for [Sen.] Bill Nelson [D-FL], and he said Democrats have got trouble. [...] So here's Osama Obama now. One speech at a convention and he's living off it. He's a rookie. He's a rookie senator. [...] Now, if you're wondering why I'm calling him "Obama Osama," Ted Kennedy was at the National Press Club and made a speech and in the question-and-answer session, he got a question about Obama and actually called him, "Osama Obama," what did he call him? "Obama bin Laden" or something. He did correct himself, but it caused us -- we had no choice, folks, we had to do a parody tune out of this.

The parody tune, apparently, is set to the melody of 'La Bamba'.

And now we come to the latest of these blunders - CNN's plastering of the phrase "Where's Obama?" underneath footage of a feature on bin Laden, which was shown during Wolf Blitzer's "The Situation Room." CNN has since apologised, and Obama's press spokesman Tommy Vietor offered a wry acceptance: "Though I'd note that the 's' and 'b' keys aren't all that close to each other, I assume it was just an innocent mistake."

Maybe so, but according to The Age, such errors had been reported on by CNN beforehand: "the graphics department did have prior warning about the potential for confusion from their own station, with CNN running a news story in December on the trouble Obama's name can cause some people."

To be precise, it was Blitzer's own show that indulged in the rib-tickling name confusion last month, according to lefty media watchdog MediaMatters. On December 11, "The Situation Room" correspondent Jeanne Moos underlined the similarity between 'Osama' and 'Obama', adding, "as if that similarity weren't enough, how about sharing the name of a former dictator? You know his middle name, Hussein." During the same show, CNN senior political analyst Jeff Greenfield joked that Senator Obama's "business casual" get-up was reminiscent of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's "jacket-and-no-tie look."

Greenfield concluded: "Now, it is one thing to have a last name that sounds like Osama and a middle name, Hussein, that is probably less than helpful. But an outfit that reminds people of a charter member of the axis of evil, why, this could leave his presidential hopes hanging by a thread."

Though all of this hoo-ha is not nearly as malicious or calculated as the hype would have us believe, it does veer close to the lazy bungles made by Fox News, such as the false labelling of disgraced GOP Congressman Mark Foley as a "Democrat". Fox has yet to make use of the Obama/Osama trick, preferring instead to just lie point blank, so it's doubtful that this is a proper smear campaign - not yet anyway. No doubt if Obama throws his hat in the presidential ring, the gloves will come off for real.

Happy New Year!

And finally, Adam from Adam&Joe edits two TV shows...

Update

UPDATE: Rush Limbaugh has weighed in on the scandal, and even The Guardian has written about it. Damn.

Le Scandale Du Jour

There is a scandal brewing at the Columbia Journalism School.

Ever since taking the online 'Critical Issues' test on journalistic ethics two weeks ago, students have been hearing rumours that there was widespread cheating. The administration remained tight-lipped until a special meeting of professors and students today, in which the 'Critical Issues' professor Sam Freedman announced that cheaters had inflicted "incalculable damage" on the school and its reputation.

It may seem incredibly ironic that budding reporters attending an Ivy League school would be so stupid as to cheat on an ethics exam, but Vice-Dean David Klatell confirmed that students had contacted him after the test had taken place to complain of cheaters passing around the questions by telephone. He said that no names were given, and also said that he would protect the anonymity of the informant.

Addressing 200 visibly upset students in the lecture hall today, Klatell congratulated whoever came forward anonymously. "You did the right thing," he said.

In a further ironic twist, the school was scooped on its own story yesterday by RadarOnline.com. Today the story made the New York Times and the Daily News, and professors said even CNN was sniffing around.

During a Question & Answer session with members of the faculty, it became clear that the online test was rife with problems other than cheating. Dean of Students Sree Sreenivasan said that despite the 90-minute time limit, many students had sent back their tests after going "hours" over the limit. He also said that one student had completed his test in two minutes, while another had finished in 30 minutes.

Sreenivasan faced down a barrage of questions from incensed students, who wanted to know why there had not been an investigation. He explained that with all these technical problems and bizarre completion times, it was nearly impossible to begin singling out students as potential cheaters. "Where's the cut-off point?" he asked. He said students had come forward citing technical problems, while others had admitted to going over the time limit. "That's not technically cheating," said Sreenivasan.

The students complained of their degrees now being devalued, and many questioned the faculty's use of anonymous tips, especially after Professor Freedman had attacked the use of anonymous sources so forcefully throughout the 'Critical Issues' course. Ayub Nuri, a 27-year-old reporter from Iraq, got up to tell students that "it is not the end of the world," but most seemed to disagree.

One enterprising student decided to sneak off with a New York Times reporter to give an interview, only minutes after having declared his degree as now worthless.

This is the first time an online exam has been used to grade 'Critical Issues.' Students were given a 24-hour period in which to take the 90-minute test, and were trusted on the honor system not to communicate with one another.